About 8 months ago, on an ordinary day in September, I taught a class with Isaac as the only student in attendance. On that particular day, one of his roommate’s family sent him a package. During class, Isaac told me a little about it, and then informed me, “I do not have a mom and dad.” As I froze and subsequently began floundering around for a word of reassurance to offer him, he just kept shaking his head and saying “mei you,” the Chinese word for “don’t have.”

Today, I had the profound privilege of watching Isaac as he received his first package from his family. The sheer joy of watching his face light up as he opened his package, saw his new clothes, and talked on his new toy cell phone was like a dose of good medicine. Those sweet little eyes completely disappeared while his big smile and laugh took up his whole face.

The part that will forever stay with me, however, is when we flipped through the photo album his family sent him. As we turned each page, I told Isaac who each smiling face was – his mom, dad, brother, and two sisters. After we flipped through it once, I asked him who each person was the second time around. With every question, his response was the same. He looked at me, smiled and put his hand over his heart and with a voice full of confidence and sincerity Isaac simply said “Mine.”

Although he has never been in a family before, and has watched many of his friends leave to be taken home by their forever families, this sweet little four year boy has no hesitation or doubt when I ask him if he has a family now. In fact, just about every day he tells me that he has a mom and dad that are coming to get him soon. Whereas 8 months ago Isaac knew with certainty that he did not have a family, it is amazing to watch as he says with pride that yes, now, he most certainly does.

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Time for a moment of honesty. My whole way over to China (and even during my first days at MBHOH), all I could think was, “What am I doing here? I was only here for two weeks last summer, and now I’m living here for 9 months.” I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I don’t know Chinese, just graduated high school, and now I’m working with the preschoolers at Maria’s Big House of Hope! It’s definitely exciting, but a little overwhelming.

My first morning at MBHOH, I woke up at 5:30 am, and after a few minutes of trying to sleep some more, decided it was useless. I threw on clothes, and ran (metaphorically – I actually used an elevator) to visit all of the sweet, adorable little faces that I have been waiting to see all year. In those moments, my doubts and worries faded. This was where my heart had been since last summer. I was home.

I still really have no idea what I am doing, and that is terrifying. But something God has been showing me is that His ways and thoughts truly are higher than mine. I don’t have to understand the reasons why; I have to trust him. I have to trust that I have not been led here for no reason, and that despite what I feel, he is still in control. I trust that he knows all of my weaknesses and insufficiency and will meet me where I am.

I am so thankful to be here. Mariah, Mikey, Dr. Zhai, and all of the nurses have been so kind and welcoming. I am in awe of what they do here. They don’t just come in and visit for 2 weeks or even 9 months and then go back home. They have followed the call to serve these orphans, which I am sure is not an easy path to walk. Each of their lives is a gift of service to these sweet children. It is truly astounding.  I already respect them immensely, and am excited to learn from them and get to know them better in the coming months. The kids absolutely adore them!

I am here safe and sound. I have my hard days, but I feel incredibly blessed and privileged to be here. I am already feeling like 9 months is too short of a time!