Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been fascinated by children. I was that annoying 7-year-old who would follow around the mom with a baby relentlessly asking, “Can I hold him now please?” I was mothering other kids before I was even out of diapers myself. If there was a baby in the building, little Abby was glued to its side (not much has changed). Folks, we even had to pack an extra little suitcase for my baby doll on our family vacation when I was in third grade. I feel like God planted a mother’s heart deep within my soul while He was still knitting me together in my mother’s womb. It has always been a part of who I am.

As I enter into my senior year of college, I’m often asked, “What do you want to do after college? What are your career goals? What’s next?” I don’t know where I’ll be this time next year or what I’ll be doing, I only pray that my wayward heart will be obedient to God’s tender voice. But, the desire of my heart as a little girl still rings true today: I really just want to be a mom when I grow up.

I went through a brief period where I was a little embarrassed to tell people that I just wanted to be a mom. People would say, “Oh, I know that…but like, what do you want to do?” And I would repeat, “Well, uh, I want to be a mom…really.” I don’t really appreciate the phrase “just a mom.” To me, this implies that being “just a mom” is something a person reverts to when other avenues fail. Let me say…I am so thankful and I have a whole lot of respect for all you “just moms” out there. I am a twenty-year old college kid and I want to be a mom when I grow up. A 15-passenger van literally is my dream car. I want to raise a mob of God-fearing kiddos. And I want to see the world be changed.

Behind a lot (not all, but a lot) of godly warriors stands a godly mama. A mama who spends hours on her knees on behalf of her children. A mama who labors continuously sowing the seeds of salvation in their tender hearts. A mama who “salts the oats” in order to make His Word as desirable as possible so that her children will find themselves hungering and thirsting after it. A mama who sets an example of forgiveness, love, and humility. A mama who serves others and gives her children opportunities to do the same. It seems to me that God often uses a godly mama to shape the hearts of future warriors.

My “mother’s heart” breaks every single day living at Maria’s Big House of Hope with 140 precious children who do not have “just a mom,” or “just a dad” for that matter. I live in a house of 140 potential warriors–and they need brave mommies and daddies and take them under their wings and prepare them for battle.

I don’t know what the future holds. And I will count it my greatest joy if God allows me to be an actual mother. But you know what? I am also comforted and excited to know that even if I never have physical children on this earth, each and every day, I have the glorious opportunity to sow seeds and salt oats for as many spiritual “children” as I can. I pray to live my life in such a way that on the glorious day when we are all gathered at the throne, I will be surrounded by children from all nations, tribes, and social statuses who I’ve had the privilege of introducing to my Father. And together we will rejoice together as we sing, “Holy, Holy, Holy is He.”

A few days ago, Caitlin and I were sitting in the lobby of Maria’s Big House of Hope when little Miss Naomi came strutting off of the elevator wearing a new red dress. Her hair was pulled back in an elegant bun and she was wearing her fanciest shoes. Her eyes were beaming as if to say, “This is my new dress and I feel beautiful!”

Every little girl deserves to feel pretty and adored. We are so thankful for the nannies here at MBHOH who take the time, effort, and care to make our children know they are loved. Seeing Naomi‘s joy in wearing her little red dress is a tangible reminder that she is not only loved by the staff and visitors at MBHOH, but that she is dearly loved by her Heavenly Daddy who holds her in the palm of His hand.

Join us in prayer that this beautiful little girl will soon know the love of a forever family of her own. Naomi is also featured on the July 2011 prayer calendar. Click here to download this prayer calendar.

“Our journey started in an airport with 100 pounds of checked luggage per person. There we were—13 women: mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, connected to each other by a shared love for Jesus, a sense of adventure, and hearts longing to be a part of a story bigger than their own. We have since found ourselves in the middle of an ancient culture sleeping in a big blue house and surrounded by the energy of 140 orphans under the age of 5. At Maria’s Big House of Hope in Luoyang, China, we’re about as far away from home as we could ever be, but finding ourselves more at home than we could ever imagine.

“We brought suitcases overflowing with new summer clothing for the children and gifts for the nurses and nannies. We came with design ideas for the living areas of the nurses, a plan to beautify the rooftop deck, and a dream to upgrade the kitchen/tv room for the staff. We came knowing that we only had 5 days to complete our plans and share our hearts with the children we are falling in love with. Our days are filled with a sense of the surreal. The joyfulness of being with each other is juxtaposed with the harsh reality of the health issues of the children and the overwhelming need for forever families for each little boy and girl. Our emotions run high with the power of each moment spent rocking, singing, playing, weeping.

“In five days, we have rearranged furniture, painted walls, given a facelift to the kitchen, hung draperies, furnished the rooftop deck, and totally exhausted Mikey (who, by the way, is an amazing guy with a heart for the work at MBHOH).

“We are back in Beijing now, seeing the wonders of this amazing country and processing what we have seen…and what we are now responsible for. We know our hearts are forever changed. Our journey has not been about what we have done for God, it has been about what God has done for us.”

- Donna Daniel, Show Hope board member

Being in China on the 4th of July really reminded me of my appreciation for the United States. I served as a Marine, and I kept thinking about the freedom we have and the sacrifice that has been made for our freedom. In devotions yesterday, we talked about serving and what it looks like. I have been so blessed to be able to be a part of the medical teams that have come to Maria’s Big House of Hope. I have seen nannies tearfully waiting outside of the operating room for the orphan that they have cared for and fallen in love with to come out of surgery .

This trip is so different. This trip is all about the nannies. You can see a excitement on their faces as they wait to go into the clinic and get much needed dental work done.  What the Kemp Dental team is doing for these nannies is so awesome. I may be repeating myself by saying that, but it’s part of the good news that needs repeating. Yesterday was an amazing day at Maria’s Big House of Hope. The CPA team arrived in time to celebrate Independence Day yesterday while the Kemp Dental team cleaned the nannies teeth, taught them dental hygiene and fixed dental problems.

Today is the last day for dental procedures, and Dr. Kemp and Dr. Chapman will be seeing the Show Hope nurses and Dr. Zhai. The girls from Dr. Kemp’s office (Suzanne, Leah, Laura, Candace and Celeste) are amazing. They have worked so hard and served these Chinese ladies so well. They knew the need here before we left Tennessee, but it was so much more than they anticipated. Some of the patients they saw were in their 40s and had never seen a dentist. Just being able to see the nannies’ appreciation time after time has been overwhelming for the hygienists. Leaving this little piece of Heaven in China will be emotional.

I want to go back to something that happened in the hectic part of getting checked into the flight to Luoyang from Beijing on Thursday night that seems so long ago. As we finally cleared security and were heading for gate 41, I flashed back to March 2000. The Chapman family (Steven, Mary Beth, Emily, Caleb & Will) and I waited at the gate for 8 hours fogged in at the Beijing airport waiting for the flight to get Shaohannah. It brought back so many memories to be in the exact same spot we waited in back then. So much has happened in the eleven years since we sat there waiting. This family and now this ministry still remain faithful and true to the beliefs they have held that started all of this.

At 3:15am on Wednesday morning (June 29), I met Dr. Phillip Kemp at his dental office to begin loading chairs and other equipment to make the journey to China with the Kemp Dental team. Almost twenty-four hours of travel time later, I was stopped by customs for the first time in my many years of traveling to China. Customs officials wanted to see what was in the big black bags we had, but upon discovering our portable dental chairs they quickly cleared our team to enter the country.

We were greeted at the Beijing airport by Robin Hill of Hope Foster Home. Dr. Keith Chapman, a dentist from Monrovia, Liberia also joined us at this point. Trying to load 29 pieces of luggage and dental equipment on an airport shuttle bus that 50 other Chinese people were using proved to be quite challenging, but we crammed the bus full until we were all loaded. Getting the stuff back off of the bus wasn’t nearly so hard!

Our team continued on to Luoyang, where Maria’s Big House of Hope is located, and we were met by Mikey Shook and the wonderful staff drivers from MBHOH. Because a student team will be staying at MBHOH during this dental trip, we are staying offsite. Our personal luggage was separated from the equipment and after 33 hours of travel we had FINALLY arrived–hot, tired and stinky.

After showers and nine hours of sleep, the Kemp team headed to MBHOH for the first time the morning of July 1st. The women who work with Dr. Kemp were already crying as we walked into the lobby of Maria’s. It is such a sacred place they had all heard so much about. Friday was spent getting the dental clinic set up, and the team is very excited to begin working with the Chinese staff and nannies who need dental services. Keep checking back for updates on the Kemp Dental team!

One of my favorite things about getting to know the children at MBHOH is learning their individual personalities. I like knowing what songs they like to sing, what best soothes them when they’re upset, and which tickle game is their favorite. As I learn their personalities, I sometimes dream of what they might want to be when they grow up. One child I love to do this with is Lucas.

This little boy’s personality is the definition of the word JOY. Whenever someone walks into his room, Lucas immediately runs up with his arms outstretched ready for a big hug. His little belly laugh makes my heart dance. What would Lucas want to be when he grows up? A singer, perhaps? Lucas loves to sing “Happy and you know it”. Often times when I walk into the room, he immediately places his little hands on his cheeks as if singing the line, “If you’re happy and you know then your face will surely show it…” He rallies the other kids in his room to sing this song…over and over and over.

Or maybe Lucas would rather be a comedian. He loves to make people laugh and he does a good job at it, even when he’s not trying! A few days ago, I caught Lucas in a corner by himself trying to wear his Nanny’s shoes. A mischievous little grin crept across his face as he waltzed into the room to show off his new look. Everyone burst into laughter as Lucas skipped around the room constantly tripping over his oversized shoes.

Or maybe Lucas would like to be a clown in a traveling circus. Sometimes this boy is just plain silly. He loves to pretend to hide under a blanket and then rip it off his head followed by an eruption of giggles. Sometimes when we drive up to MBHOH in the van, we can spot little Lucas standing at the glass window making silly faces by pressing his face against the glass. A silly little bundle of joy, that Lucas!

Of course in our limited view, we don’t know what Lucas’ future will hold, we do know that God has special plans for each and every child. So whether Lucas actually becomes a singer, comedian or clown, we are trusting that God knows the plans He has for Lucas. “Plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans to give him a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

As this little one comes to mind, please pray that God would open the door for sweet Lucas to come into the love of a forever family of his own.  He needs a family to walk into the future with him helping him to explore all the wonderful ways God has created him and his funny little personality.

Read more about Lucas here >

“Visiting Maria’s Big House of Hope has been such a blessing. It truly is a house of hope. The minute I walked through the door I could tell it was filled with love and compassion. It has been so much fun to make the children smile and to show them God’s love. One child in particular has been such a joy to play with. His name is Jay-ar.

“Jay-ar is super cute and pudgy, has the most adorable smile, and was born with Down Syndrome. I first played with him during a water play-time outside of Maria’s Big House of Hope. His contentment and joy surprised me. While he was in the sand box he did a face plant and got sand all in his eyes, mouth, and nose, but he didn’t cry at all. He just got right back up and went on playing. From then on, he has held a special place in my heart. I keep wondering what his future holds. What will happen to him when he grows up? Who will encourage him through hard times? Who will enjoy his special personality? What struggles will he face? The unknown overwhelms me, but God keeps bringing to my mind Jeremiah 29:11 which says: ’”For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”’

“Even though Jay-ar’s future is unknown to me, God knows exactly what will happen. Not only does He know exactly what will happen to Jay-ar, but He also promises that Jay-ar’s future will have hope. That promise is so encouraging for me. I continue to wonder about Jay-ar’s future, but not without hope – God has it all figured out. What a compassionate and loving God we serve!”

-Annie Ownbey

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Brittany Baker wrote this song, “Make It Me, Lord” for a little girl named Dreena (pictured) and another little boy she met at Maria’s Big House of Hope.

Pulling into a ‘Great Big House’ on Father’s Day night
Hoping to SEE the needs of the orphans plight
But when she called me ‘Mama,’ then my heart did break
All they need is a family; who will fight for their sake?

Make it me Lord; take my hands.
I may be broken Jesus, but I’ll fulfill your commands.
Help me live out your example of love,
That they may know it comes from above.

Walking into a small room with mats on the floor
Seeing so many children that are broken and poor
But when I put the boy down, he reached up to me
All they need is a family to love unconditionally.

Make it me Lord; take my hands.
I may be broken Jesus, but I’ll fulfill your commands.
Help me live out your example of love,
That they may know it comes from above.

The needs are so great; our hands are so small.
Give us ears to hear Your specific call.

Make it me Lord; take my hands.
I may be broken Jesus, but I’ll fulfill your commands.
Help me live out your example of love,
That they may know it comes from above.
That they may know it comes from above.

“BROKEN. The first thought that pops into my head when I think of that word is of this morning when Chris Wheeler was being the incredible leader that he is and getting some Emergency-C for a couple team members. One second the glass cup was in his hand and an instant later it was shattered on the floor. On its way down it cut nicely into his ankle. The glass BROKE right before my eyes, and I’m sure it caused him PAIN on one level or another.

“One of the prayers that I most fervently prayed leading up to this trip was that God would BREAK my heart for what BREAKS His. I had no idea what that would look like and honestly, I don’t think I understood the gravity of my prayer. More times than not, when something BREAKS, it is PAINFUL. I hate pain. Who doesn’t? I asked God to give me His love as I invested in the lives of these kids. This week I can truly say my heart has been broken.

“I was nervous coming into the trip that I wouldn’t find “that kid” who I fell in love with and would spend every waking moment holding, kissing, and rocking to sleep. I am so thankful that God knows me better than anyone. The first room I walked into at Maria’s Big House of Hope was the Nemo room on the 2nd floor. I instantly fell in love with all those precious children and their nannies, but was specifically drawn to a 4-month-old baby named Edward. I call him Eddy (: He is completely content when sitting in my lap and watching all that is going on in his room. Eddy and I have something in common—we are both very ticklish and love to laugh. I have rocked him to sleep four times so far ( . . . PRECIOUS, I know).

“Even though I have only known that little guy for a couple days, I love him. I was holding him today and could not hold back the tears welling up in my eyes when I began to think about his future. My heart continued to BREAK as I faced unknown answers to countless questions. Will he be adopted into a forever family? Will he live long enough to build a relationship with his Creator? Does he even have a chance? I have never experienced PAIN like I felt today.

“Jesus commands us to LOVE our neighbors. Until this trip, I have always connected loving my neighbor to basically loving my friends and family. Today I put myself in Eddy’s shoes and experienced the joy of Jesus’ invitation on a new level. Today God allowed me a glimpse into the PAIN he feels when his heart is BREAKING for his precious orphans all over the world. I’ll tell you this.—it is difficult, and it hurts. Being BROKEN is challenging and uncomfortable. However, be encouraged. Once your heart has been BROKEN for what BREAKS His, you understand and be able to share Your Daddy’s love with others like you never have before. I loved my precious baby boy tonight but not with my BROKEN, pathetic love. I loved Eddy with GOD’S LOVE.”

-Callan Kreidel

“God works in amazing, extraordinary, and unexpected ways. I never expected that God would use a mission trip spent playing with precious children to change my life. God has broken me, but built me up more beautiful. As Caroline mentioned in her blog post, our team has received the challenge to reach out to kids at MBHOH who aren’t always played with. With that in mind I walked into the Peter Rabbit room today. Without even thinking about it I gravitated towards the kids who were ‘easy’ to love–those who responded quickly to my tickles and who were fun to play with. Suddenly I realized what I was doing. I was avoiding the kids who needed love the most because it was too difficult. I selfishly put my needs and my comforts above these precious children.

“I decided to go to the mat where two children with very obvious special needs lay. One little boy responded when I touched him; he used all the energy he had to smile. The other little girl, however, did not respond to anything I did. Things that would make other children laugh, smile, and giggle caused no sort of response from her. It was so discouraging to not get the response I so desperately desired. I became frustrated with myself and with the situation. I wanted to feel the warm feelings of hearing her laugh or seeing her smile, but there was nothing. As I sat staring into her big blinking eyes and looked at her small frail body, my heart broke thinking of the possibility that her mind and her body are not aligned, that she was furiously fighting her body. I prayed that God would give me a sign that she would be okay, that she was content inside. I sat there stroking her just to make sure she knew that I was there. My heart continued to break as I looked into her eyes.

“At that moment I did the only thing left that I could do. I began to sing. Or rather I tried to sing. I’ve always been embarrassed to sing out loud, but I thought that this could be one thing I could do for this little girl; I could try to comfort her with my singing. I began singing my favorite childhood song- ‘Jesus Loves Me.’ Softly I sang: ‘Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong; they are weak, but he is strong.’ Unexpected tears began streaming down my face as I sang that line… Little ones to him belong. They are weak, but he is strong. The little girl I sat trying to comfort has a body that was weak, but she has a God who is so strong and loves her so much. That was the sign that I needed. This little girl’s future is in God’s hands and He is strong. He will never let her go. He has His hands wrapped around her. In His arms, she will be comforted.

“‘How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance for your house and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you the fountain of life in your light do we see light. -Psalm 36:7′”

-Sarah Rooker

“Being back at Maria’s Big House of Hope has been surreal. I had my first experience here in June of 2010 and I am so thankful for the Lord’s leading in bringing me back to this incredible place. Today was a ‘play with kiddos all day’ kind of day, which I absolutely loved. Mikey gave our team the challenge of loving the kids that others pass by. He was talking about the kids who have more serious conditions–the ones that don’t smile right away or run into your arms when you enter their room. They are the ones that cause you to go out of your comfort zone. For me, it was a little boy named Jordan.

“When I entered the Peter Rabbit room on the 4th floor of MBHOH, most of the kids were napping so I sat and chatted with our team leader Chris and team member Dan. I noticed a little boy who looked very agitated and  scooted over to his rocker to see if there was anything I could do to comfort him. His nanny was rocking him and I began scratching his back and rubbing his head in an attempt to stop his tears. He seemed uncomfortable and continued to shake his head back and forth. It broke my heart that there was nothing I could do to make him feel better. I was overwhelmed with emotions and began to weep over Jordan. I prayed over his little body and questioned God. What had Jordan done to deserve his condition? Why do I have a family, but he goes to sleep every night without one?

“As I continued to pray, I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11 that talks about the plans God has for each and every one of our lives. He has a plan for Jordan’s life just as He does my life. He has a plan for every single one of the children here at MBHOH and each of the 140 million plus orphans in the world. As I held, kissed, and comforted one of those precious orphans today, I am even more grateful for His plans. While they may be confusing or painful at times, they are always for the good. He knows these kids names and the number of hairs on their heads, and He loves them so much. I trust Him, and I hold onto that hope. At Maria’s Big House of Hope, these kids have hope.

 ”I go to bed tonight more passionate than ever about the calling God has placed on my life to care for orphans. We have to speak up for these children. I can’t wait to SEE what the Lord has in store for the rest of this trip. I can already tell that these children are going to teach me way more than I could ever teach them.”

-Caroline Greene